“Strap-on” may sound like the name of a knock-off fanny pack, but a strap-on is actually a harness and dildo combo-pack intended for penetrative play. Usually, strap-on harnesses secure the dildo in front of the wearer's genitals (like a make-shift penis).
Most commonly used for pegging play (that’s dildo-in-butt) and strap-on sex (that’s dildo-in-any-hole play), strap-ons are nearly as versatile as a sex pillow. Meaning: very! Strap-ons can also be used to simulate a blow job and more, says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure product company in Chicago.
For the record, these experiences can be physically pleasurable for the wearer, too, because the base of the dildo can press against the labia, pubic mound, or clitoris with every thrust. Plus, there are dildos specifically for wearers who enjoy internal stimulation (like the Fun Factory ShareVibe), but more on that in a bit.
1Eve's Strap-On Play Set Adam & Eve Read More
2Intermediate Unisex Vibrating Strap-On Harness Kit Tantus Read More
3Thigh Strap-On SPORTSHEETS Read More
4Desire Luxury Rechargeable Strapless Strap-On Dildo Vibrator Lovehoney Desire Read More
5Strap-On-Me Remote Control Vibrating Strapless Strap-On Unbranded Read More
How to pick a strap-on:
Generally speaking, strap-on kits are best for people who are new to the wonders of strap-on sex because they’re easier to purchase and less expensive than buying the dildo and harness separately.
Start by figuring out what style harness will make you feel sexiest, says Taylor Sparks, founder of Organic Loven, the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "There are jock style harnesses, which feature two or three straps and look like a jock-strap; underwear style, which look like underwear; and a two-hole style that can be used with two dildos or a penis and a dildo at the same time," she explains.
"Once you decide on a style, getting the fit right is most important," Sparks says. If the harness is too loose, you won’t be able to control your dildo, and you’ll end up feeling clumsy. "Be sure to check the recommendations on hip, waist, and thigh measurements," she advises.
Next, think about the size of the dildo that comes with the harness. "You don't want one that's too big or too small," says Deysach. If you’re buying your strap-on with a specific person(s) in mind, "think about how many fingers [they are] comfortable with inside their body and compare that to the size of the accompanying dildo." Otherwise, pick the dildo you’re most aesthetically drawn to. (Ideally, it will be around 1-inch thick and 5 to 6-inches long, which Deysach says is a good starter size.)
After a few go-rounds with your strap-on kit, Deysach says you might use the intel you’ve gathered to buy an individual harness and dildo that better suit your pleasure needs. That way, you can make sure the harness fits perfectly *and* select a dildo size that best stimulates the receiver's hotspots. Need some inspo to get started? Try these 25 expert-approved picks: